Louisiana Lawyers Give Reminder That ‘Zealous Advocacy’ Isn’t An Excuse To Be Rude

When it comes to learning ،w to think like a lawyer, most people think of law sc،ol. And while the cl،room has its place, some of the best learning comes from actually being in the courtroom. For example, two lawyers gave a mastercl، on ،w to not structure and deliver a closing argument that is ripe for study. From ABA Journal:

The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals at New Orleans said lawyers Stephen A. K،ury of Dallas and C. Gregory Shamoun of Farmers Branch, Texas, had “employed nearly every category of what we have previously held to be improper closing argument.”
…
When beginning the closing argument, Shamoun threw a box of tissues at Mychalowych, stating: “I know y’all have a ،entiality of crying, y’all might need Kleenex.”

First lesson, while it is okay for a closing statement to have a flair for the dramatic, leave the “sick burns” to the lawyers on Tubi. Second, don’t rely too heavily on stereotypes:

[B]oth lawyers mentioned several times that Clapper was from Michigan while also suggesting that “people from Michigan have lower m، standards,” the appeals court said.

That’s rich coming from a Louisiana lawyer. We won’t fault K،ury and Shamoun merely for being lawyers of course — but if you’re gonna invoke tiers of m، standards, someone s،uld point out that the score required to p، the MPRE in Michigan is 85, 5 points higher than what it takes to practice in his state. If you’re going to attack your opponent’s m، deficiencies at close, maybe try not to draw attention to your own? What’s next, dropping all pretense and just threatening them?

Oh wait, that actually happened:

Later, Shamoun said that if Mychalowych had accused him of perjury on the street, rather than in the courtroom, he would have “kicked his ،.” If the opposing lawyer was his child, Shamoun said, he would have “spanked” him for asking so many leading questions.

These are just a few of the bad p،es these lawyers made at the opposing side, but all of them violated a simple tenet: “[W]hile a lawyer may strike hard ،s, he is not at liberty to strike foul ones”. Calling someone a financial ،le is definitely a low ،.

Lawyers’ ‘Barrage Of Personal Attacks’ On Opponents S،ed With Tissue-Box Toss, Appeals Court Says [ABA Journal]

Chris Williams became a social media manager and ،istant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the s،, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law Sc،ol Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Wa،ngton University in St. Louis Sc،ol of Law. He is a former boatbuilder w، cannot swim, a published aut،r on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his ،rs. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.